I have been thinking

less of a time gap than last time, i'm proud of that

2007-07-01T03:19:14Z

school was good. summer is good. i feel like i work all day everyday, pretty much cuz i do, but i'm still enjoying myself for the most part. i haven't seen a lot of people that i really need to have seen by now. there's an even bigger list of people i just haven't seen enough.

i should be able to work on that since one of my jobs ends after this coming week. i'm going to have loads of time on my hands. i really need a third job to replace my first. any suggestions? seriously, please.

i am a happy, happy girl. life is treating me very well right now. i don't know what i did to deserve it, or maybe it just realized i always have, but it's an extraordinary feeling. i've never felt such absolute bliss.

now if i just had time to see my best friends once in a while!

(it bothers me that that's a fragment haha)

so what, it's only been 4 months

2007-04-07T06:23:59Z

If you want true harmony in your life right now, you need to put things on pause and try to center yourself. Step back from the social scene and let your inner voice be heard.

Alright, well working on that shouldn't be too hard, considering that the entire campus and its mother went home this weekend. The ones that stuck around are out drinking, and I can't because I'm on four prescriptions from being sick all week. So yeah, I think I can step back from the social scene. I didn't even get out of my pajamas all day.

I'm SO bored! Why else would I bother looking up a horoscope. What am I gonna do for the rest of the weekend? Hmm maybe rest and get healthy, catch up on homework, maybe even get ahead? What a crazy concept. We'll see how that goes.

School is good. Hard, but good. I have good friends, I have a good boy, I have a good time. I guess that's all you really need to know. I'm a little worn down, pretty much ready to be at home with all of you. Here's looking forward to summer and wishing you all a good end to the semester!

p.s. i read every day, if you were curious. i miss you guys.

lifesnofair @ 2006-09-24T23:24:00

2006-09-25T04:34:40Z

facebook will be the death of me. it is such an easy distraction. i have a paper due tomorrow and aside from picking the passage im gonna write about and making a rough, really poor outline, i havent started it yet.

i went home this weekend for rosh hashanah. it was awesome seeing all my synagogue friends again, and of course jen and rachel. i spent saturday night at depaul and hung out with jenn jay christina and tom, and that was a wonderful time as well. the whole weekend was very good.

except here i am. three pages short of finishing.

is anyone interested in going to the jack's mannequin/panic! at the disco concert at the UIC pavilion the day before thanksgiving with me? tickets are 30 bucks and i really really wanna go...i love jack's. and panic! too i guess.

i have some apologies to make in the next week before the book of life is sealed without me in it. im pretty screwed then. i have to figure out who i have to apologize to...its tough to remember what ive done in the last year that requires forgiveness. i already have a couple people in mind, but i'll think about it some more. if i dont apologize to you and you think i should, let me know. preferably before next sunday. so i dont die.

okay thats enough of that. back to odysseus!

lifesnofair @ 2006-09-13T01:05:00

2006-09-13T06:08:31Z

this entry is dedicated to the one and only love of my life, jennifer diane harvey.

i would say more, but you know it all already. and frankly, i'm tired.

i love you! see you in two weeks!!!

happy birthday!!!

hope it's the best.

lifesnofair @ 2006-09-03T21:06:00

2006-09-04T02:51:48Z

i felt homesick for the first time today. i really miss my dad and could use a couple of my BFFs right now. of course i miss everyone, but they were really on my mind today.

so, college. i hate walking to PAR FAR or green street when you cant catch the bus, waiting for clothes dryers, being tired all the time, the effort it takes to shower, and the ridiculous amounts of boring reading teachers assign. i love chi psi, my jews at hillel and aepi, my hebrew class, pizza after midnight, kicking easterns ass at football, our shit, bitch! shirts, kinda sorta but not really beginning to understanding the bus schedule, and having the first nine seasons of friends on tape. oh i also love that my fiction teacher thinks the class gets out at 11:50 when it really gets out at 12:15. that rocks.

basically, its the exact change i needed. except now that the first two weeks are up, and this life is becoming the new normal, i find myself wanting to go back to the old normal. luckily the transition has been made a little easier since i have a bunch of the coolest elk grove kids i know here with me.

id like you all to know that i avoid my horrible reading assignments to such an extent that everyone is out watching beerfest and hanging out at chi psi while i...update livejournal and continue to not read. i'll get around to it. i hope everyones having an incredible time exploring college or savoring their last year or two of high school, and i hope to see as many of you as possible during homecoming weekend!

things keep coming and i keep stumbling, i start feeling strong enough to break...

2006-08-02T05:12:15Z

so today, after a glorious lunch with the one and only christine mallari, i took down the poster and all the streamers in my room. if i had to take them down sometime, i figured i'd make it symbolic since they were put up a year ago today as my welcome home. it hurt so much. hurts so much.

i wish i would let myself enjoy the last 2 1/2 weeks here. i just cant seem to do it. call me up if you wanna do something. itd probably make me really excited. im going up to my cabin tomorrow and thursday. that place always makes me feel good, and i'll be there with great friends, which is always better.

i left the three streamers right above my head hanging. they've gotten me through too much to just throw them in the trash.

lifesnofair @ 2006-07-24T02:06:00

2006-07-24T07:20:56Z

tonight was full of pudding, mario kart, polka dotted comforters, torpedos, macaroni and cheese (the color), wine and shredded mozarella, knowing smiles, cigars, bloody accidents, 3rd or 4th introductions, looooong hugs, u-turns, sunroofs, welling eyes, laughter galore, dashboard confessional, and the most unexpected deep, personal question from a stranger in an agreement to not ask how our summers were going.

all in all, wonderful.

there never seems to be enough time to do the things you want to do once you find them

2006-07-17T19:05:06Z

theres an israel rally downtown i really wish i could be at right now, but all my jew friends are at camp ramah or in israel except for kara who cant go. my mom called my family and theyre safe for now. im worried about edan-dan though. we always joked about him dying in the army, but he only has a couple weeks left to serve. what torture. please dont try to argue about israel with me if you were planning on it. just know that i support and stand with them.

in some absurd twist of events i dont work until friday night. ive done very little the last week, but that will change. tonight is the long-awaited panera dinner with the girls, tomorrow is a jen harvey day and college shopping with my mom at night. the rest of the week has yet to be planned, but i expect it to involve kate, jess, and rachel, as well as more time with girls. well, maybe not monica with shawn coming home...gosh i love them together. she's been just wonderful in his absence. love you mousch! hear that kate and jess...we're doing something.

i'll leave you with this wonderful quote from my favorite book.

I think that if I ever have kids, and they are upset, I won't tell them that people are starving in China or anything like that, because it wouldn't change the fact that they were upset. And even if somebody else has it much worse, that doesn't really change the fact that you have what you have.

just as summer's hold is fleeting, i was here and now im gone...

2006-07-14T01:38:11Z

tonight i am staying home. why?

-i wake up at 4:30 tomorrow for work
-i didnt call anyone/no one called
-i dont want to be around anyone

i feel like i should say something of consequence here, but i just have nothing. im sorry.

i spoke too soon about the 180 thing. i dont remember the last time i felt this way.

kate and jen saved my life today. jen just doesnt know it.

i cut out all the questions that annoyed me, so if you want to do this go to http://tomthetoolman.livejournal.com for the full version

1: Single or Taken: single

2: Last words you said: she didnt seem to care

3: Last song you sang: so long, so long

4: Last person you hugged: kate

5: Last thing you laughed at?: toms 'your mom' comment

7: Last time you cried?: about half an hour ago

:PRESENT::
9: What color socks are you wearing: none

11: What time did you wake up today: 10:45

12: Current taste: capri sun and beef fried rice

16: Current longing: i thought this was supposed to be a distraction?

17: Current desktop background: group 3's first night in israel

20: Current favorite article of clothing: this old '85 bears 3/4 jersey thing i found

21: Favorite physical features of the opposite sex: eyes or hair or smile or jaw

23: Favorite place to be?: israel

25: Time you wake up in the morning?: i set my alarm for 10:30 if i dont have to work, but i dont always get up

26: Do you play an instrument?: i can, but i dont

27: Favorite color: teal

28: Do you believe in an afterlife: most of the time no

29: How tall are you: 5'6"

30: Current favorite word/saying: for sure. i dont like it, i just cant stop saying it

31: Favorite book: the perks of being a wallflower

::HAVE YOU EVER...::

39: Said "I love you?: i can now answer yes

41: Been to New York: yes

42: Been to Florida: yes

43. Been to California: yes

44: Been to Hawaii: no

45: Been to Mexico: yes!

51: Have had friends who are like brothers/sisters to you? so many, i am blessed

53: What book are you reading now?: im re-reading harry potter 5 at work and studying out of a hebrew book

54: Worst feeling in the world: ha, right now. nah not really, probably losing someone you love.

59: Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: yes, a bear monica gave me in 7th grade that changes its name whenever i change a crush

69: What clothes do you sleep in?: shorts and a t-shirt usually

70: Who is the last person that called you: rachel

71: Where do you want to get married: outside

72: If you could change anything about yourself what would it be: more passionate

73. Who do you hate: myself

77: Do you like being around people?: most of the time

78: Best feeling in the world: relief, love, discovery

81: Do you have a "Type" of person you always go after: hmm yeah i guess so

82: Do you want someone you don't have?: whatd i say about distraction

83: Are you lonely right now?: its funny that i put my mood as alone before i filled this out

84: Ever afraid you'll never get married: of course

::IN THE LAST 48 HOURS, HAVE YOU...::

87: Cried: yes

88: Bought Something: yes

91: Said I Love you: no

92: Wanted To Tell Someone You Liked them: no

93: Met Someone: yeah i chatted with the nurse today and met a few people at work yesterday

94: Moved On: not even close

95: Talked To Someone: of course ive talked to someone in 2 days, im not that alone

96: Had A Serious Talk: too many

97: Missed Someone: yes

98: Hugged Someone: yes

99: Yelled at Someone: yes

::ONE LAST QUESTION::

100. Someone You Can't Be Without: my mom, rachel, all my bffs really

lifesnofair @ 2006-07-10T23:40:00

2006-07-11T05:13:13Z

the last few days have done a 180 on my summer. i was afraid it was turning out to be average, but with dick's last resort, the taste, six flags, teddy geiger, my graduation party, and the soccer league tonight all in a row--it just doesn't get any better. but i think it might anyway.

i love that i have so many great friends, but i hate that i met so many of them so late in high school. a sincere thanks goes out to everyone who came last night. i had a blast.

i wish my family was more open. we dont talk about love or anger, problems we have with one another or things we appreciate, or whatever's on our minds. i try not to regret things, but that is one thing i do wish was done differentely. the first 18 years can make or break the relationship you have once you leave home, and i think i screwed it up. but i have 6 weeks (ahh!!) to change it, and i will.

but with everyone ive been seeing and everything ive been doing lately, i just couldnt be happier.

lifesnofair @ 2006-07-09T12:00:00

2006-07-09T17:01:41Z

hey guys!

just a reminder- my party is tonight starting at six. you can call 529-3622 for directions or something whatever. hope to see you there!

sorry for the length...

2006-06-21T23:22:29Z

im having trouble figuring out what i should share and what i should keep to myself right now. would working through what im feeling help me figure out how to fondly recall the past or just make this harder than it needs to be?

nevermind. i just had a talk with tom, bless his soul, and i dont feel the need to do this anymore. since i hate vagueness i'll just tell you whats up. im in this dumb quasi-depression because one year ago yesterday i left for new york/poland/israel and im feeling horribly alone. its hard to explain. when i came home last year, i cant even begin to express how much i didnt want to be here. i walked through the halls completely lost. i felt so out of place at home. i couldnt even call it home anymore. i missed you all terribly, believe me, i did. but i wanted to be there, with them. and i couldnt. and it had just ended. all of a sudden i was hugging jen harvey at baggage claim, and i just didnt get it. i didnt get where it had gone. without a second thought i can say that those 6 weeks defined exactly who i am right now, and not USY, not hillel, not reunions, not going back to israel, not pictures, not keeping in touch, nothing can give me them back. but ive realized that the definition it gave me, the person it created, that i can have. with beautiful memories and the support of friends both at home and around the country, i can fondly recollect the best time of my life.

so now im just kinda ehhhh.

yesterday was the most fun i think ive had all summer. that may suprise those of you who were there, cept kate, considering i hardly said three things after 9pm. i like listening to all the conversations going on at once. i dont even realize that im not talking until someone asks me whats wrong. its just who i am. anyways i loved seeing all of you who were there and i hope you dont think im crazy.

thanks to everyone that helped me out the last couple hours. i love you guys. i wish i didnt have to sleep alone tonight. thats how i felt my first night back from israel. six weeks of roommates makes nighttime pretty lonely.

1. Your name spelled backwards: acissej

2. Where were your parents born? my dad was born in waterloo, iowa, and my mom was born in tiberias, israel

3. What's the last thing you downloaded to your computer? a document from my brother

4. What's your favorite restaurant? hm i dunno wendys, olive garden, max and ermas, wildfire, chilis, fridays...

5. Last time you swam in a pool? oh gosh umm spring break mexico i think

6. Have you ever been in a school play? only when we had to in elementary school. macbeth in fifth grade i remember well.

7. How many kids do you want? 2 if theyre boy and girl, 3 if theyre the same. if theyre still the same, i give up.

8. Type of music you dislike most? anything that bresnahan would play on the morning announcements

9. What is your favorite, random thing to do? go to parks or playgrounds. i do it probably 4 or 5 times a week.

10. Do you have cable? nope satelitte, but i think we're switching to cable soon

11. If you had all the time in the world what would you do? figure out how to only have one lifetime again

12. Ever prank-called anybody? haha of course

13. Best friends? rachel, shawna, monica, sam, kate, jen, tom, abby, joel and a thousand others that i love like crazy

14. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving? definitely, just give me maybe 2 years to get the guts and someone to go with

15. Furthest place you ever traveled? israel

16. Are you more outgoing or shy? more shy

17. What's your favorite comic strip? there are some i like more than others, but i dont know their names

18. Do you really know all the words to your national anthem? i think so, definitely if the music is playing

19. Bath or Shower, morning or night? i showered at night during the school year, a couple hours after i wake up now

20. Best movie you've seen in the past month? none were amazing...there was xmen 3, the break up, and the lakehouse in theaters. all pretty equal. i dont remember ones i saw at home.

21. Favorite pizza toppings? just cheese. maybe extra cheese.

22. Chips or popcorn? popcorn

23. What color shirt do you usually wear? it varies...

24. Have you ever smoked peanut shells? im gonna go no

25. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant? nope

26. Orange Juice or apple? apple for sure, everyday

27. Who was the last person you went out to dinner with and where? wendys last night with kate

28. Favorite type chocolate bar? snickers

29. When was the last time you voted at the polls? primaries earlier this year

30. Last time you ate a homegrown tomato? last summer and will in a couple weeks when theyre done

31. Have you ever won a trophy? basketball and soccer park district ones

32. Are you a good cook? depends on the meal

33. Do you know how to pump your own gas? yeah

34. Ever ordered from an infomercial? no way

35. Sprite or 7-up? sprite all the way

36. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work? yeah their shirt and khakis, their shirt and jeans, their shirt and whatever i want as long as its not jeans

37. Last thing you bought at a Walgreens? fathers day card

38. Ever thrown up in public? nope

39. Would you prefer being a millionaire or finding true love? love, duh

40. Do you believe in love at first sight? nope

41. Can ex's be just friends? yeah definitely. not saying its easy but ive done it

42. Who was the last person you visited in a hospital? my dad

43. Did you have a lot of hair as a baby? dont think so

44. What message is on your answering machine? hey guys, it's jess. sorry i missed you, but leave a message and i'll call you back. used to be all of us singing rooney cuz we're awesome, but not anymore.

45. Where would you like to be right now? reliving last year, one week from tomorrow

46. What was the name of your first pet? when i was born we had barney. he was a dog. my first pet that was really mine was lucy. she was a rabbit.

47. What kinda backpack do u have, and what's in it? jansport, full of anything from school i didnt burn.

48. Where is your second home? technically i have one on pistakee lake, but here i guess sams or shawnas house

49. What is one thing you are grateful for today? lizzie

50. What do you think about most? sigh. israel?

PARTY!

2006-06-20T17:39:20Z

since i want to go to another graduation party on july 8th, im going to have my party on sunday, july 9th, as long as thats okay with people. let me know if thats alright or if you think you'll come. its still early so i could make it the friday before or the next saturday or whatevers good for people. i dont really care. but please tell me! i wanna be able to give out invitations at all the parties this weekend. thanks!

lifesnofair @ 2006-06-16T23:22:00

2006-06-16T19:50:57Z

today i worked from 8-2, took a three hour nap, and worked from 6-11.

in that time i read two and a half books and studied hebrew for two hours. im going to be very learned by the end of the summer.

i shouldnt be left alone with my thoughts.

ive never been so tired. i love when you can feel a good stretch down to your toes.

1.Do you still talk to the person you had your first kiss with? nope

2. What would you do with 1,000 plastic spoons? spoon someone's lawn (probably harley's)

3. What did you do when you were in school in the 2nd grade? the sole memory i have from second grade is learning how to divide with M&Ms

4. What is the best thing about your job? i sit at a desk and do whatever i want

5. Do you like more than one person right now? not really

6. Are you against same sex marriage? not at all

7. Did you vote for Bush? i was too young

8. Where are you going on your next vacation? iowa next weekend, then texas hopefully

10. Are most of your friends guys or girls? girls

11. Do you own any furniture from Ikea? my garbage can, i think.

12. Last book you read? speak

13. If you could have one super power what would it be? flight

14. Where have you lived most of your life? des plaines

15. What was the last convo you had about? talking to bobby at work about how bored we were

16. Where do you see yourself in four years? just out of college, hopefully working

17. What's your favorite smell? spring

18. What is your favorite sound? music?

19. Are you moody? i dont think so personally

20. Favorite movie of all time? i have no idea

21. Have you ever done anything vindictive to your classmate? no

22. Have you ever gone to therapy? no

23. Have you ever Played Spin the bottle? yes

24. Have you ever Toilet papered someones house? yes

25. Have you ever liked someone but never told them? of course

26. Have you ever gone camping? only with girl scouts

27. Have you ever had a crush on your brother's friend? yeah, but then he became my friend

28. Have you ever gone to a nude beach? no

29. Have you ever gone streaking? no

30. Have you ever had a stalker? no

31. Have you ever gone skinny dipping? no

32. Have you ever laughed so hard you cried? most days

34. Have you ever been in love? no

35. Have you ever felt betrayed by your best friend? yeah sorta

36. Have you ever lied to your parents? most days in some fashion

37. Have you ever been out of the country? 9 times

38. Have you ever thrown up from working out? almost

39. Have you ever gotten a haircut so bad that you wore a hat for a month straight? no

40. Have you ever eaten 3 meals from 3 different fast food places in 1 day? on vacation im sure

41. Last song you listened to? 0% interest- jason mraz

42. Have you ever spied on someone? sometimes i eavesdrop on my parents conversations

43. Have you ever seen your best friend naked? no

44. Who was the last person who called you? sam

45. When was the last time you slept for more then 12 hours straight? i dont remember

46. Have you ever been arrested? no

47. Most embarrassing CD you own? ashlee simpson

48. Have you ever stolen anything? nothing important

49. Have you ever drank egg nog? no

50. Do you fill out myspace surveys at least once every time you sign on? dont have a myspace

lifesnofair @ 2006-06-11T12:51:00

2006-06-11T18:07:00Z

i kind of want to see a scary movie. i enjoy them, but they also scare the crap out of me. its been a long time, and i want to go. i miss that rush of tension before something bad happens. will someone go with me?

something isnt right in my life right now, and i cant put my finger on it. i mean, i graduated high school, have had an incredible week of summer vacation, and received my housing for the fall. everythings moving along, and i havent had any sort of breakdown that i was expecting. im confident in the friendships i have, and i dont see them going anywhere. at least not this summer. so whats the problem? i have no idea. but its been on my mind for the last week or two and its bugging the hell out of me. hopefully whatever it is will arise so i can work it out and actually enjoy the incredible summer ahead of me.

im having my graduation party july 8th, because every weekend before that is taken up by important things. i'll have invitations to pass out, but if i dont see you, youre still invited. every one of you! dont think youre the exception, because youre not. so yeah, mark it down.

that is entirely edible.

listening to sex stories

making katie display her v card with pride

lifesnofair @ 2006-06-02T15:19:00

2006-06-02T20:20:43Z

who called and said they had my camera?! the message got deleted on accident! i love you for it!

im gonna stay 18 forever, so we can stay like this forever, and we'll never miss a party...

2006-05-31T03:28:47Z

...cause we keep them going constantly, and we'll never have to listen to anyone about anything, cause it's all been done and it's all been said, we're the coolest kids and we take what we can get.

tonight was my final Guardian paste up. it was bittersweet, if i had to pick a word. i just want to put out a big thank you to our editors, just because theyre absolutely incredible in everything that they do. and jen, i just dont know what to say to you. you remember meeting at larson's house? i was so nervous! and our very first paste up, how we had to hold up the page together when we printed it the first time? and the first few issues, walking out to our cars so proudly? oh lord i love you. big date soon k?

so like, one day of school left, huh? thats a weird feeling. i dont really want to clean out my locker. part symbolism, part lazy. honestly, im pretty sure it all hasnt hit me yet. well regardless, here are some pictures!

college roomies :)

we went to my cabin for post-post prom

tooooooo early

ditch day downtown with most of my favorite girls

coolest star thingy you'll ever see

oh where the buffalo roam...

maybe its sad that these are now memories. and maybe its not sad.

2006-05-24T04:32:42Z

oh life...everythings pretty crazy right now. im trying to capture as much as i possible can, but the days are all just so short lately. everything wonderful is just coming one right after another. its all gonna end so fast, but i love every second of it. i dont think im ready for this yet. im ready for college, im ready for high school to be over, im just not ready to leave. how that works, im not sure. but it does.

pats right. im a very selfish person. he just has the wrong reason. i am really disappointed in myself. will i change? probably not. i'm happy. i hate that.

i love teddy geiger. i cant believe he's only 17.

lifesnofair @ 2006-05-10T23:20:00

2006-05-11T04:25:43Z

so how bout this whole no real class, no homework thing. nice huh?

really excited for the next 3 weeks!

grease is amazing!! everyone should go see it. congrats to everyone involved! is anyone going friday? i wanna go again if i anyones going.

im depressed about american idol. i love chris.

i cant sleep lately. it sucks a lot. im a big fan of sleep. and my eyes really hurt all the time, probably as an effect. every day i come home and switch to glasses. poor eyes. im gonna try for some sleep or something now.

things are crazy right now. but i like it. i think.

A - AVAILABLE?: most definitely

B - BEST SPORT?: football

C - CRUSH? kinda

D - DOG'S NAME?: toby

E - EASIEST PERSON(s) TO TALK TO?: kate rachel monica tom or rhyse

F - FAVORITE COLOR?: teal

G - GUMMY BEARS OR GUMMY WORMS? gummy bears for sure

H - HOMETOWN?: des plaines

I - INSTRUMENT?: used to play the saxophone

J - JUICE? apple all the way

K - KIND OF MUSIC? indie/guy with guitar/emo-ish type thing

L - LONGEST CAR RIDE?: canada

M - MILK FLAVOR? plain old 2%

N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS?: one

O - ONE WISH: im at a loss

P - PHOBIAS/FEARS?: disappointment, big spiders (or the little white ones), losing friends or family

Q - FAVORITE QUOTE?: "Because it is a thousand pities never to say what one feels." i know thats what raczka said, but i couldnt think of anything and thats amazing.

R - REASON TO SMILE? the next 4 months

S - SONG YOU LAST HEARD?: the deep- further seems forever

T - TIME YOU WOKE UP TODAY?: 7:06

U - UNKNOWN FACTS ABOUT ME?: um. im sure there are things.

V - VEGETABLE YOU DON'T LIKE?: spinach, artichokes, typical things like that

W - WORST HABIT?: keeping thoughts to myself

X - X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD? wrist, back, hand, foot, teeth

Y - YUMMY FOOD? BLTs, steak, olive garden salad, mac n cheese, spaghetti, grilled cheese, mozarella sticks, pizzookies, i could go on forever

Z - ZODIAC SIGN? scorpio, but out of all of them im totally a libra. funny thing is i was born late, and i was supposed to be a libra. crazy huh?

lifesnofair @ 2006-05-03T13:36:00

2006-05-03T18:42:11Z

three APs down, one to go. after monday, high school might as well be over.

does anyone have the new taking back sunday cd? id like to hear it.

i cant quite start studying for physics yet because of the ridiculous humanities paper. actually im only upset because i dont know what to write about. i couldnt complain otherwise cuz i wouldnt start until tonight anyways.

what else? oh last week was my half birthday so i am officially closer to 19 than i am to 18! how did that happen! time is a crazy thing. we all know whats going down one month from tomorrow...

yeah, thats it. yay prom and summer and life after monday!

oh and kinnus was incredible- laughed, cried, blah blah blah, i love everyone, best decision i ever made, yada yada, life-changing organization, and now im sad. the end.

at least we know that if we die we lived with passion, they say we burn so bright...

2006-04-27T23:16:27Z

so in about 15 minutes im going to the JCC in northbrook to catch a bus to milwaukee. what for you ask? my very very very last USY convention. it'll probably be the best ever, but man am i devastated. USY has changed my entire life, and now its almost over. without it id pretty much be my brother right now- wouldnt go to services or do anything religious or care much about israel, and i wouldnt have had last summer. i cant imagine not having that experience behind me. at least i'll have the memories and the pictures and the friendships...but its just not the same as being able to go to a convention or a late night board meeting or a saturday night program and hang out with people that can offer me the one thing that none of you can...man am i gonna miss it.

i dont know why im even doing this now cuz none of you really know what im talking about, i just had to put it somewhere. i wish i could somehow show everyone whats so great about it and why its such a huge part of my life. its not really something you can explain though. okay i gotta stop cuz im starting to cry.

i just finished my BLT...i think i'll brush my teeth again before i go. my breath smells like bacon. they'll know haha alright i'll be back sunday afternoon.

if there's no one beside you when your soul embarks, then i'll follow you into the dark...

2006-04-22T07:09:09Z

the death cab concert was absolutely incredible tonight. i still call them my favorite band, but i havent been listening to them much lately. that has all changed. my love has been rekindled. those guys know how to put on a show.

when they played passenger seat as the first song, jen and i almost cried. and again with i will follow you into the dark in the encore. any band that does a 3-song encore is incredible. i had so so much fun. girls, i love you. i cant wait for college or to be a 35-year old business woman hahaha

i drove for over 5 hours today, so im gonna go to sleep for the rest of the weekend.

oh p.s. leadership luncheon was really really cool, and even if it wasnt, the food would make it okay. man i havent had a meal like that in...a long time. thank you, maggianos.

lifesnofair @ 2006-04-19T20:26:00

2006-04-20T01:40:40Z

i dont know why im updating so much.

im sucked into american idol. i never start watching until the top 15ish, so im not bad, but right now im addicted. if they voted off chris just now i might have cried. i love him, and he was great last night.

i have to go ask someone to prom in like an hour and a half, and i would really rather be doing something else. but it'll be a fun time anyway. sam and shawna made a really cute plan, and im glad im not doing it alone.

1. I'll respond with something random I like about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll name something we should do together.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me (or just me).
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll leave you a quote that is somehow appropriate to you.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal so you can do the same for other people

I don't get a lot of things right the first time, in fact I am told that a lot...

2006-04-19T03:28:01Z

...Now I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls, brought me here

-the paper was done before six, and my Guardian career is kind of over-ish. sad, yet relieved
-ive been doing really really well in all of my classes lately
-i feel majorly productive and hopeful for AP tests
-i have a prom date (well thursday night i will officially, but yeah, i do. infinite thanks to monica for aiding me in the decision-making process, love you!)
-friday not only do i get out of 2nd-7th hour for a service and leadership lunch at maggianos (who else is going to that by the way?) but then i'm going to the death cab for cutie concert!!!! (favorite band ever)
-mom approved my trip to kansas over memorial day weekend and the road trip back with brad for him to visit chicago!! so excited!
-U of I blanket making with kate and then dinner at bahama breeze with her and jess saturday!! i love our dinners :)

-life is great. friends, family, school, music, college. it's just good.

"i can't believe i just did that in front of everyone...well it's not like i could help it" -shawna

2006-04-16T06:56:29Z

i do love my girls. tonight was...different. wall-punching and forced make out sessions and stained clothing and inappropriate picture-taking and people named freakshow and cheeks and a bucket full of i dont know what. good times though.

yesterday i went to a comedy club in chicago with jen tom and tim and then had some dennys. it was a wonderful evening. classic. somersault is german for eeeevil!

you'd think i'd have something of substance to say from the last 2 weeks but i just dont. oh, passover started. it's kind of annoying. the jewish stuff was funny tonight haha gotta love drew wispering it as if no one could hear!

okay it's past my bed time and i have to go to my cabin tomorrow :( i really should have done some homework today.